I want a soulmate too

Don't feel like posting any pics today... Feeling depress over a million things.

And I got one habit.

That is when I'm moody or sad, I will on what I deem sad depressing songs to listen to. Haha, I dunno why? I guess it is just natural to listen to sad songs when you are sad. Can't be listening to happy songs when sad right. So weird.



I read audrey's blog and she was talking about being blessed enough to find not one but two soulmates. One is her bbf and another her current bf.

Really you can't help but feel envious of people like that.

I don't have such luck like her. I never met anyone, whether a girl or a guy in my life who really understood me. Who could accept me just the way I am. Someone who just gets me without me having to say a word. Who was always there for me in good times and bad. Someone I can describe as 'a piece of clay in heaven which was supposed to make one girl but god chopped that clay into half and made two.' ( Quote taken from fourfeetnine. )

I hope though, that I will be blessed enough to meet such a person one day. I don't want to be like one of those people who never get to meet their soulmates even throughout their whole lives. =(
For now... its just you and me. * looks over at bianbian *

Ragamuffin kittens and a fat cat

I want this toy! It is even pink colour!

So fun sia. I think Bianbian would really like it? Or maybe she will just get bored of going round and round, lol.

And look at this ragdoll cat in this video...

Thank goodness Bianster is nothing like that. Otherwise when she jumps on me, I think you would have to call me bian instead.

Oh and a susprise may just come in a month's time! Or maybe not if things don't go well. =/

Pictures of Bian from down under. =)))

This is one of her fave sleeping spots cause she gets to look out the window and see the world go by. I'm just laying on the bed below her.

A closer look at her owl face.

Finally I decided not to be so lazy and to get up to take this pic.

Pet Society

Pea told me Mum went and peeped at some stuff somebody brought over for me, even though she knows it is my stuff.

Even though I am not even there to give my permission for her to snoop around my personal belongings. She told me not to be pissed about it too.

But still... I was pissed. Actually am still pissed off.

Because I hate people who have no respect for other people's privacy. Since young though she has always been like that and you would have thought I would have gotten used to it by now... But no. I am still not used to it. I still get fucking piss off whenever I know she has been snooping around. It is just plain fucking rude.

And hey, people who can bring themselves to snoop around other people's stuff without their permission are also most likely people you can't trust. This I find so very true.

Really, it is amazing my family can still find ways to agitate me even though I am not even home. No wonder I fucking hate that place. I think before I'm even old, I would have already died from stroke/ heart attack from high blood pressure OR from breathlessness caused by her bloody monsters. Because instead of having fresh air inside my lungs, it will be clogged full of her dog's hair. Now that would be a sight.

I don't see how she can still keep those worthless monsters despite Pea and me having all kinds of health problems because of them. Can't she just give them away and get a hypoallergic dog for goodness sake? How can her stupid dogs be more important than her children? Isn't the fact that her dogs can cause a asthma attack bad enough? Sometimes I wish I could faster die from my breathlessness just so my parents would feel sorry. Then maybe they will give the stupid creatures away and Pea could have a better life too and won't have to suffer at that unbearable place.

Ah, forget it... Think about it make me feel so tulan. Everyday like will have things to be pissed about one.

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Anyway, I saw POSB Cat. Too bad everytime I see him, always don't have my camera with me. He is so cute. Always 'guarding' the POSB atm one. And he is the first cat who pudge me. Lol, people who don't play dota won't understand what I mean.

Since I don't have pictures of POSB Cat, I shall put up pictures of my pet in Pet Society!

Ta da!

Haha, cute mah? Don't really have enough cash to get her better clothes but I think this isn't too bad? Looks quite nice already ba. Notice her cute bunny slippers?

Her name is Chu.

This was the very first furniture I bought after I had more cash. Before that, my poor pet only had a fugly chair ( which I sold because it was just too fucking ugly ) and a lousy tv. Those come free when you start playing the game.

Now she has a nice bed to sleep on! =D

See how happy she looks? Hahaha. =P

Twisted

Ironic really... how some people told me that no matter what we were going to be friends forever and to promise I would never leave them.

I did.

But in the end, they chose to leave me instead.

It is fine, because I won't judge people for the choices that they make. Even though I may not neccesarily understand why.

Anyway, what did I expect when life was never simple for me. It had always been rather complicated. Even when other children were having simple childhoods, I had a rather twisted one.

Were you a victim of a bully? No? I didn't think so.

Did you have other little girls constantly plotting how to stab you in the back? No? I didn't think so.

Did you have best friends who actually saw you as a enemy and were always finding ways to fuck up your life? No? I didn't think so.

Maybe that's why I turned out the way I did. Sorta twisted in a way.

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All my life I've been judged by people. They either decided I was this really nice person they could take advantage of, or I was this snobbish stuck up person they would never like.

But really, who were they to judge me?

Because of this, I am grateful that I have found a rare few people in my life who have never judged me by what I did or did not do.

Anyway, I think I have gone on babbling in the last few posts too much and still have alot of pictures that I have not posted up. Some dating back to chinese new year. Wtf.

So, pictures up in the next post. =)))

A New Layout and Boring Rambling Thoughts...

Woke up to bianster face meowing at me. Lol, which is actually not a bad thing to wake up to. ( Unless it is at night and you see some black black thing looking at you then it may be quite scary. )

Sometimes though, esp in the night, she keeps meowing and I think she wants attention or someone to play with her? But yah, like normal human I am sleeping. ( What??? I can be normal ok?? Wtf. ) Poor thing. Hopefully she will have a companion soon to pei her at night when she is lonely. It will be good too when I go to work and there is a kitty friend to keep her accompany while I'm gone.

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Anyway, I decided to just change my whole layout since my previous one doesn't want to work, and I can't stand looking at a buggy layout.

I removed the tagboard too because I thought maybe the html may have screwed my layout and Pea suggested changing to her tagboard.

Wahliao eh, her tagboard is so fucking exclusive that it apparently allows only a certain amount of people to sign up for it. Diao. -_-"

So I didn't make the cut, some sort of, and had to submit my email to them and just wait till they have space for me. First time sia, I have to wait to register for something. Amazing.

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Besides that... I also took down links of my blog. So much for being able to meet more cat people. Lol. Yah but anyway, for now just take it down la just in case I go and blabber bout some offending stuff. Then another big woohoo happens. For all the common sense in the world, I lacked the common sense to block my bitchy comments out. Sorry ah, I was born afew lightbulbs short. Lol.

*Rambling thoughts alert*

Lots of thoughts swimming in my head since yest... whether it was really right or wrong of me to just show whoever comes here all of my bitchiness. Haha, and yes... for those who don't know, I can be a really bitchy person. >.<

Although Pea did tell me that it IS my blog after all and I should be able to write whatever I want. Then I thought that yah that is true, but then I should still be considerate of people's feelings. But at the same time if I kept thinking about everybody's feelings and who will get hurt by what I say... then I would have to post stuff which I didn't really feel.

Then really, what would be the point of this outlet for me? If I had to mask all my comments and make everything nice, then I would be wanting a popularity blog for superficial people to come here and make nice happy comments too. No, I didn't make this for anybody. I made this blog for me.

Ironically, I have been told that I put on a mask for people in real life but yet in here, show a very different side of me. The part of me in real life, isn't a mask, but just another side of me. Often what you are seeing, is just the nice side. Here though, you get to see the very worst. Wtf huh.

Just suddenly remembering one part of what Regina told me... that posting bitchy mean comments about a friend on the net would never be something that she could do. At that moment I think I told her it was cause I was angry with some of the stuff she did. Which is true.

But I felt like I was missing something. I know what it is now. I could do what may seem like such a horrible unfathomable thing to her, simply because... I am not her. There will be stuff that she can do, that I would never do. Likewise, there will be things, faults or mistakes I make that she herself will never do..

And my trail of thoughts ends there...

Read at your own risk

This is for certain people who read my blog and saw things that I said that offended them. Be it whether they still come and see my blog or choose to never come here again, what I have to say is specially for them.

Know that this is not only just a blog to me but also very much like my personal diary. It is an outlet for me to vent whatever frustrations I have and express whatever I am feeling, whether it is anger, sadness or just random stuff like poking fun at people I dislike. And just like a diary, the stuff I say may be extremely personal.

Usually most of the stuff I say out here, are when I feel frustrated or pissed off or have no one else to tell them too. And obviously, I am not a nice person when I am angry. Likewise the words that come out of my mouth when I am angry aren't very nice either. Mostly what I'll say would be really mean or bitchy stuff, stuff that normally I wouldn't go around saying to people face. Because all I want to do is to get every frustration, every pissed up feeling I have, out here. I guess by posting it here, is really equivalent to saying it to people's face, and I should just make my whole blog private. But I don't really want to have to do that.

You may find though, that the way I talk about people is really crude or insulting. But it is, simply, just the way I talk when I am pissed off with something. I guess only my sis would know how vulgar I am when I am agitated by something. Then I would rant like some crude ah lian off to her and I think even she cannot stand my many unpleasant words. Lol. Thks ah for tahan-ing me.

I guess rarely has anyone really heard me ranting like how I truely do because often to friends I am another person. I am a different person to different people. Only cause not everyone can accept me for what I really am or some parts of me. So you just have to change to suit that person. Haha, lost already? I guess this reasoning is not for everyone to understand but only a handfull of people.

Anyway, everyone has their own demons and mine... they come out here in my blog. Lol. So, if you happen to not like what you're seeing, then I would think it best that you don't read anything I say here at all. Because this will ultimately still be my outlet for ranting, bitching, venting just about anything that is on my mind.

P.S. I still do apologize to those that I offended with my content, and apologize to those that I may offend in the future. But hey, at least I warned ya. ^_*

I wanna play Pet Society leh!!!

Waaaaaaaaaa! Fuck la! Why my com so kennasai one??? Damn bloody hard to play pet society on facebook loh. Cause it is so fucking lag and slow... even worse then when I'm playing dota sia. Boohoohoo... but I wanna play with my pet and buy lots of pink stuff for her! Haiz... sian la. Stupid com. So lousy can't even play a stupid game. Haiyo and I keep restarting my cb com in the hopes that it will be able to work better but no use! Ultimate sianess la. =(

Never mind, I will attempt to play it again later... hopefully with better results this time.

And besides that, the air con also don't wanna work today! Fuckkkkkkk la... So hot already I wanna die and the cb air con don't work. Fuck you air con and this whole stupid house! What? I damn tulan ok? I think today is another suay day or what, keep on having suay stuff happen and the whole day haven't over yet. ( Em, little did I know how right I was. ) =((

Yah, and I receive empty email from Tg. Dunno what is up with that?? But it creeps me out. And he also suddenly add me on facebook but no pictures whatsoever on his facebook account, it looks like a newly created account. Last time I still remember him saying that he closed his friendster account cause feel sian and no point, then now come and make a facebook account. Then why bother to cancel the friendster one in the first place if what he wanted was to see whats up with me. Diao la. One of the many examples of him saying one thing but doing another.

Not enough my malaysia trip should suck so badly, come back still got all this stuff to deal with. Haiyo. Yah la I know, never rains but pours.

Haiz. Then dunno why after I spent the longest time creating such a nice cbox, it doesn't want to appear on my blog la! Then I keep trying to change the html here and there, it still doesn't work so I gave up and made a shoutbox instead. Jeez.

Oh wow. Now my blog also got problem. I can't see the layout. It is all fucked up. What the hell is wrong with my com ah?? Wahliao. I feel like go and bang my head somewhere or smashing this fucked up pc on the wall.