Thank you to all of you guys who gave a damn.

Really. =]

I can't say how much I appreciate the kind comments given to me in the previous post I made. Every single comment. Because to me it just shouts out Hey Somebody Cared! I didn't write that post with the intention of hoping for people to pity or feel sympathy for me or anything like that.

I was just having one of my down moments. Hence the depressy posts. I'll tend to rant and whine like this once in a while. Bear with me or you could just skip those depressy posts. It's perfectly fine.

.........
...........
............ I still can hardly believe there are people out there who care. It is almost mind boggling. Not like some people ( living in the same house as me and others in my life ) who couldn't give a flying fuck about me.


Anyway, I recently just watched another video on youtube which is like the coolest thing ever to have happened in singapore! I'm serious. Wahliao nothing interesting ever happens here la because people here are too conservative and not open minded and then they come up with something like this! Actually HTC did. But gudos to all the dancers who dared to performed. I just wished I was there. Shucks.



It was so bloody successful that there was even a part 2 at wisma. Which I missed too. Wtf. =[



Me wants the electric hot blue shorts. XD Haha anyway I think it takes alot of effort ok to dance in the sun ( 1st video ) dressed like normal passer bys with bags and all.
Imagine. Have to dance around carrying a haversack ( 2nd video ) and for some of the dancers, holding the HTC handphone somemore. Props to them all man.

Being Rejected

What do you do with your life when you are regarded as the useless stupid one of the two daughters your parents have had.

I guess nothing. Just get on with life. And don't tell me to prove that I'm not the useless stupid one because I can't suddenly be a smarty pants and grow brains.

Why am I the useless stupid one? Simply because I'm not academically inclined. Not good with books. Because I didn't accomplish anything. Make something out of myself. Didn't end up being something like my mum or dad. Which is like a accountant and lecturer. Instead I went and learned useless shitty stuff like nail and make up stuffy. I tried learning accounts to please them. But a quarter through the course I realised I just couldn't get through any farther anymore. I just didn't understand. Dad maybe could have helped but I wouldn't want him teaching me anything after the horrible experience of him giving tuition to me when I was a kid still stuck in my head. Non-stop asking of why was I so stupid.

Haiz.

I wanted to learn driving. Get a driver's license. Told mum that and all she did was pretend I didn't exist and said my sis should go learn driving. Here I was talking about me and all she could focus on was my sis. And sis doesn't even wanna learn driving. Diao.

I wanted to study somemore. But mum felt it is a waste of money to sponser me. Having enough retirement funds for herself was more important. I guess it is.

Growing up, I always felt insecure and if my parents thought me stupid then I must be pretty dumb. Never liked staying home because I felt like I didn't fit in. Always told people that I was the black sheep of the family. Been my dream since forever to move outta this place. Still working towards that dream.

Nothing has changed much since I was young. Still the black sheep. But I can only be me. No matter how much they don't like who I am. Thats all I can ever be. Slutty clothes and all too.

Catnip Infused Bubble Gun!

Been so busy with some study/work crisis that I haven't had time to update much.

Anyway, got a little treat for the cats when I came across this interesting gadget in a pet store.

It's Bubble Kitty!!! XD

I know.. wtf right. Mum said outright that it was a total waste of money. ( So says the person who keeps buying new toys for her dogs every week. )

I would think it was a waste of money too but I knew the cats would love it and they deserve a little fun in their mundane lives. After all, staying in my room 24/7 can't be very interesting. ( They have to cause mum's dogs are ill mannered spoilt psychotic barky morons who will take my cats as their toys. So the stupid creatures get the whole house while my cats only get to stay in my room. Can't wait for the day I move out of here. Sheesh. )

JuuJuu especially loves chasing after the bubbles. Till her stamina runs out and she starts panting that is. She's mega fat now at 7 months old. I don't ever remember Bianbian being so big and fat until after she got sterilised. Then she suddenly exploded into this giant black cat. No more that skinny little kitten.

Can't imagine what Juu will look like when she's one year old... or maybe I don't wanna imagine... I just hope I will still be able to carry her by then. >.<

Bianbian suddenly started salivating yesterday. Until her whole chest fur is wet somemore. I was so horrified I went online to google cat drooling and found that maybe ingesting something toxic or teeth, gum problems may make a cat suddenly start drooling too. The worse condition would be some liver problem. Waaaa... Not that suay ba. My ke lian Bianbian.

Going to bring her to the vet later. Decided to try a new place at ang mo kio because that stupid Kasey Tan is fully booked today. He is always fully booked one. The recep tried to make me see Denise Ang again but I die also don't ever want to see her knncb face ever. For the rest of my miserable life. Hope this new place will be alright and the staff not as stuck up as those at mount pleasant springside.

Bianbian: Why so hard to find a good vet one? Poor me. =(

Haiz. I hope it's nothing serious... and also hope it's not going to be another period of one problem after another like not too long ago whereby the cats paid a visit to the vet every week. Sigh.

Boxer-briefs

Did you know that such a thing existed? I didn't even realise that there was a in-between stage of boxers and briefs called boxer briefs till recently. Well I guess it should be ok for me not to know since I'm a gal after all? Wtf.

Anyway... I think I have an idea of what it looks like but just didn't realise it had a name. Cool. Now I know.

Found it out from watching a damn youtube video. Talking about what gals like to see on guys the most of all. Guess which one is the gals favourite?

Turns out most gals like seeing guys wear boxer-briefs the most. Second is boxers. And briefs isn't even the last choice ( going commando is more prefered than briefs even ) because only little boys, very old men and your dads wear briefs.

Which is true. My dad does wear briefs. Thereby automatically making briefs a huge turn off for me to see on any guy I am with. Eww.

And for the average guy... I think boxers or boxer briefs are more flattering than briefs. Unless you have a really hot looking bod like a calvin klein's model otherwise you will just be squeezing all your fats out of your underwear. Which is not a pleasant sight right.

Hmm... dunno what the guys prefer though.. shall go around randomly asking..

P.S. If you are going to leave a comment. please say what you prefer and why. Thanks. =]]]

Yes! It is the fringe! Stupid title...

Very happy and touched at something I just read... Made my day. =D

Been rather moody lately cause still sick and breathless ( still yawning to breathe, wtf ) and all... But thank God that there still exists little things that can cheer a person up.

Really feel like moaning... or maybe it should be groaning? There's still a giant pile of backdated pictures I have yet to load... so many things I want to write down and remember but apparently months later, still have not got to it yet... haiyo feel so sian to load months ago de pics now. Haiz. Oh well. I will get to it! Eventually... i guess...

Oh and first photo of me with 'the new fringe' up. Heh. =P

Taken with Gin at this place where it is sooooo easy to take good looking pics. Lol.

So what do you think? Better? Worse looking off? Haha oh well at least its fun. Though freaking irritating sometimes. Especially when the wind blows. Then I have to grab and hold onto my hair like its a bloody wig.

Random thoughts of the day

1: OMG! Having a fringe is actually so fun, who knew that?? Cuse' me but I haven't had a fringe since one of my ex-hairstylist Matthew tried cutting me a fringe that he said looks like Rainie's ( as in that Rainie. You know who right? ) but I just think it fucking looks like someone dumped a bowl on top my head and cut around it. ( Thanks ah Matthew! NOT! ) It is a whole new world to me having to see things through my fringe.

2: OMG. Got fucking giant zit on my face. Eyesore loh. Why the hell do zits even exist???

3: When am I going to get to travel again.... When oh when oh when...

4: Why people's cats no problem one but mine got like one million and one problem??? Not that I don't love them... I do... But why liddat one???

5: Why do the authors of those bloody love story books I always read make sex out to be some world exploding, earth shattering, soul changing, etc, kinda shit when it is nothing like that in reality? How can they deceive all the innocent gals reading their books??

6: Am I the only one in the world who needs to yawn to breathe properly? Only during periods when I'm having difficulty breathing that is.

Tribute to Momo

After four plus long years... Momo, my mottled dwaft hamster, finally passed away on 18 September 2009..

He lived an extraordinary long life. Longer than what most dwaft hamsters in singapore live to anyway. Usually the average dawft hamster here can only live till one plus to two years at most. They live such short lives because of a serious case of inbreeding.

He will also be the very last hamster I will ever keep. I now think a hamster life in a cage is just such a sad way to live. I'll rather they just be left alone from where they came from... be it the fields or wherever. At least it bets living afew years in a boring cage having no freedom and just having a stinky wheel to run in. I think all small animals should just be left in the wild and not kept as pets... just as birds are meant to fly in the air.

Also its too heartbreaking to keep a living thing you have feelings for only to have it pass away two years later...

Anyway... here's just afew pictures of Momo.

This was when I first got Momo. He slept in this same house for four years.





Here he is picking the litter and stuffing his housey with it. He always like to stuff the whole house so full of litter until you couldn't see him at all.

I think this was the first time he got on the wheel. At that time I was thinking to myself that he's so tiny but the wheel so big.. who knew one day he became such a fat fluff ball haha.

And he really loves to eat those black or white nut thing... Not sure is it sesame seeds??

All grown up le. Momo was very tame. He wouldn't nibble or bite anyone at all. You could just feed him seeds or any food from your hand. I was blessed to have such a smart and well behaved little fellow.

Last picture of him... actually I took many photos of him but most of them are blur.. I was a really crap photographer afew years ago.. -_-

He will be one of the two hamsters I have kept in my life that I've always remember. Maybe more so than my robo Fatty hamsty because of how long he lived but as the years went by, he who was originally a fluffball became a skeleton and I guess its just because he was too old... tough to stay fat when you are that old.. but I still felt very sad everytime I looked at him and he was just all bones.. anyway I'm such he is in a much better place now. Hamster heaven or wherever that may be. At least he isn't restricted to a cage anymore. Rest in peace Momo.. I do love you so.

The most longest post I think I will ever make

Its late at night now.. but I can't seem to fall asleep.

I just walked passed the mirror and caught a glimpse of myself. The sight I saw really scared me. For lack of a better word, I looked like death. Or maybe the walking dead. Probably looking like the zombies I always see in those movies I like to watch cause of my falling ill lately.

Haven't been able to sleep all that well since 2 days ago where after eating a simple brought back meal, I couldn't stop running to the toilet. To find myself hurdled over the sink clutching my stomach in pain wishing I could just die instead, to throw up again.. and again.. and again. Never in my whole life have I ever threw up so many times in one day and suffered so much pain everytime my stomach constrict and heave. I hope I never have to go through such torment again.

Not only did I kept hurling up repeatedly but I was struck with having diarrheoa too. WTF. It never rains but pours huh??

When finally my stomach seemed to give me a break, I woke up my mum to tell her I needed her to bring me to the vet. Yes, wtf. I was so delusional gone I said the vet. And maybe also cause I had been to the vet so many times lately it just seemed natural to say the vet. Anyway she understood what I meant.

In the end after what seemed like an eternity, she brought me down whereby I was walking as slow as possible, even worse than a tortoise cause I felt like I had been completely seeped of my strength and energy.. It seemed to take a whole lotta effort to lift each foot up and walk..

We only just came down the lift and was at the void deck when I saw my vision popping stars and growing black and I guess I must have wobbled or something cause mum asked me if I wanted to sit down. I stuck my hand out and grabbed hold of the nearest seat and promtly did just that.

Well, after that I felt like I was going to hurl and all that again and we had to go back up for me to do my thing.

When we came back down, mum had to hold onto one side of my arm while we lumbled to the clinic.. well I guess mostly just me lumbering. We waited so hell long for the doc that I almost blacked out on the chair there. In the end, I got a jab from the doc and a whole lotta gastric and stomach medicine. Which after taking makes my whole gastric and stomach feel stiff. Sounds weird? But thats exactly how it feels like. And if I so much as try to cough, it actually hurts that whole area.

I guess this is what happens when you don't take good care of your stomach and get gastric problems. You end up like me. Which is really a sad case to be.


Haiz.. Can't blame me for yakking so much since it's been quite a long while since I've blogged.. too many things have happened and problems just seemed to kept coming and coming.. actually they are very much still ongoing.

First off, I didn't have the time to blog because of the job post I took up. I loved my new job alot but the working hours were exhausting and contrary to what siao ding dong lady boss Jackie had said at my interview that the people working at the clinic were ' one big, happy family ', that was so not the case. ( That woman is seriously deluded. I wonder where she came to that conclusion. Anyway too bad for her that no one actually likes her and everybody thinks she's a bitch. I don't blame them. After all the times she scolded me for mistakes that other people made and still want me to smile when she is scolding me for fuck. Crazy lunatic. Pity Thiru for marrying her. )
There was so much work politics going on. In the end I lost my job because of it. Also because I refuse to suck up to people. ( Like basket case Jackie who disgraces all the christians with her stuck up attitude. Try and be more humble woman. And Melissa who is how old already but still childish enough to do stupid things like sabo me by putting customers records that I put on queue someplace else so that those poor people never get to see the vet. Grow up la! You're already married and got kid somemore! ) Especially people who expect me to suck up to them and yet do not deserve any decent respect because of the despicable way they act. Anyway as vet Vanessa said... there wasn't any unity in any of the people working at the clinic at all because the females ( except her that is ) were all too busy backstabbing each other backs. The males were left alone for some reason.

Actually I was picked on by Melissa the most. I think she was jealous of me or something? There wasn't any reason for her to dislike me except maybe cause vet Vanessa and vet assistant James got along really well with me. Better than with her. I guess she couldn't deal with the vet liking me more than her when I only been working there for slightly over a month whereas she's been working there over a year ( because I have never backstab the vet unlike her ) and so felt the need to oust me. Well bitch, you succeeded. And this is the kind of values you are going to pass on to your baby girl. You better hope someday, someone doesn't treat your daughter the way you treated me. Thank goodness your husband who is also working there doesn't see fit to sabo or backstab other people into losing their job. But I do believe what goes around, comes around. *cue justin timberland's song in all corniness*

Anyway, after losing my job my two babies kept falling ill one after another.. actually before that they were already sorta sick so I guess the job lost came kinda timely cause it gave me the chance to take care of them 24/7. Which I've been doing till now.

First Juu had diarrhoea. Then skin disease. Then Bian suddenly had fever and flu. Then Juu eye had some problem and wouldn't seem to get well even after seeing three vets. Two from AMK and one from AAVC. All three vets coudn't find anything wrong with her eye and kept giving me stronger and stronger eyedrops.

One night I found Juu rubbing her infected eye viciously until it looked like the insides of her eyes came out. Terrified I rushed her down to mount pleasant hospital and the vet there found that there was a giant ulcer covering more than half of her eye! Was told that the stronger eyedrops all had steriods which made the ulcer a whole lot worse. Had to watch over Juu 24/7 for two weeks more till her eye recovered..

After that one month salary all gone to the cats medical bills but alas! More medical bills to pay as both babies got diarrhoea from a parasite from another kitty I was taking care of when I thought my own cats were finally well. All because another stupid vet ( why I can't seem to find a good vet one??? )told me that the kitty I was taking care of didn't have ANY parasite and so nothing from him was contagious. From then now, they coudn't eat back their regular food and have to eat sensitive diet food permanently ( I'm still trying to find the right sensitive diet ).. And now Bian can't stop sneezing and wheezing even though I've been feeding her her meds.. And I think I will have to bring her back again for a review..

Haiz.. I just want my cats to be well again.. and happy.. and not needing to feed them meds anymore because they don't like it and I don't like doing things that makes them unhappy. Is that so hard???