Away again for some time...

I won't be blogging in the next few days... Why?

Because I won't be in singapore for some time. I'm going on a 'last' enjoyment trip before I officially start work.

Still can't really believe that I was able to get a job that is more than I could ever hope for. A job to do with animals.

I had given up all hope. I was going to accept that I may just have to settle being a beauty advisor or some other job.

Just when I had given up, I received an email saying that I had inquired just in time and a vacancy was available. Two days later, I went down to AMK Veterinary Surgery for my interview. I didn't expect much. Least of all to be hired on the spot. Even lesser than I would get a position like veterinary executive. Like a dream that was exactly what happened.

So here I am now. Still feeling like everything that is happening is so surreal. But I barely have the time to ponder over it.

Tomorrow I will be off someplace else and I will appreciate the days I have left before working life begins.

Cupcakes!

Yes, I had the craving for them lately and so...

got myself some from Carnival and Co.!

The pretty box in which the cupcakes came in.

Okay I know the ribbon is upside down... its because I tied it.

Anyway when you open the box up.......

You'll see this!

So pretty right???

( I like the design on the two small cupcakes in the middle the most! )

See already, almost can't bear to eat them. Way too pretty.

Haha but the key word is almost.

They're a mixture of peanut butter and carrot cake flavors.

But when you open it up, the smell of peanut butter is so overwhelming.

Overall... taste wise was just average even though they looked really good. But I think the Sugar Fairy's cupcakes, although not the best looking, actually tasted much better than these ones.

Dreams

So lately I've been having dreams again whenever I sleep.

My dreams come and go.

There will always be like a period where I dream alot or a period whereby I don't have any dreams at all.

I guess that's good in a way too because I think you don't really get as good of a sleep when you're dreaming.

Anyway so far, one of the dreams which I can remember had Rachel in it. She was at my place or something and it seemed like I was moving house? Then we were sitting somewhere talking and she told me Gin was gonna study music at NYP for 6 years. Wtf. So weird.

Then another involved Pisal. We were in a classroom and Mr Chee ( WTF WTF ) was teaching maths. He came and scold me because I didn't do my maths homework and I thought Pisal would help but instead he just ignored me. =(

Lol.

The last one I can remember is this dream where I was with a guy that looked like Adrian Pang. See? This is the result of watching too much Red Thread. Haha... Omg la.

And that's about it... for now.

Introducing Juu Juu!

I never did say why I wasn't sleeping well...

Well, because I'm now a mummy of two! Yes, number 2 is here! Em, sorry... number 2 has a name. Pea helped come up wit it and it was to be Juu Juu!

Why Juu Juu? Its a secret but there is a special meaning behind it. =]

This is Juu Juu... ( everyone get ready to say awww now! =P )

She came back to her new home in my bag which acted as a make shift carrier.

At first she wailed real loud when I first put her in it. Guess she was pretty scared.

Then, after I got in the taxi, she settled down real fast and dozed off. =]]]

After awhile, she opened her little eyes and got a good look around.

I think she was also admiring the passing scenary from the taxi's windows.

And then, she turned towards me and started looking at me. So I stroked her tiny head and thought...

Hi little one! I'll be your new mummy for the next 20 years or so of your life! =D

She dozed off again after I continued to stroke her... guess it was soothing in a way.

Whee! Helicopter ears!

Last look at Juu Juu's cutie face before we finally reach home.

So what else is new?

Hmmm... let's see.

Well, I manage to skin my thumb ( I hope the dent in it is not there to stay ), drop the fan on my leg ( which resulted in a giant blue black and a bruise ), and still remain sick all this while.( kinda hard to get well when you still have to do the housework, your parents keep buying food not intended for sick people to eat because they don't remember you're sick, and there are unhygenic bacteria infested creatures hanging around the house and I don't mean my cats! )

Oh yah, and there was this freaky big croachroach in my room. After I saw croachroach lava in my parent's bedroom.

Bianbian found it. I was lying on my bed using my pc as per normal and then she suddenly pounced on the blanket beside me. I thought she was just playing till I heard some sounds and saw something scuttering from the blanket to the corner of my bed and behide the cupboard. Waaaaaaaa! So scary!!!

Must be Mum's dogs never bathe so long till got croachroach come la cause they all so freaky smelly like fuck! Then I so suay their croachroach probably travelled from the masterbedroom to here one!

Sick again...

Yes. It started with a sore throat then blossomed into some feverish flu shit.

I guess in a way I should have seen it coming. After all, the weather has been so bloody hot lately that I came on-ing and off-ing my air con like every few minutes.

Also I guess cause I haven't been sleeping well. Wake up like every few minutes too.

So in the end..... kenna sick.


But Pea made me this manuka honey thingy and wah! After like drinking one cup of that thing, my sore throat actually went away! Omg... so cool. I only wished I drank that miracle drink sooner.

Too bad it can't make my runny nose and feverish feeling go away too. Oh well.

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Anyway, I was nibbling on this smoked salmon sandwich from Soupspoon and I bit on a bone! WTF!

Smoked salmon leh! Anybody who eats smoked salmon or raw salmon should know it is impossible to have bones one loh! Fuck sia. Maybe its a bone from another fish that dropped into the sandwich??? -_-"


The stupid sandwich...

Still can't beat the one at the dunno what store at plaza singapura.

Busy week

Last week was pretty jam pack for me. I went out 3 days in a row ( I try to go out on alternate days so I don't feel so tired and cause I'm lazy too la ) and almost fainted from lack of sleep. Lol. Yes, my energy level really suck. I go out one outing, must recharge damn long one.

But it was worth it. I had fun. Its a rare thing for me to actually have fun. Maybe also cause I seldom go out.

I managed to meet up with my ex-classmate from san yu. I thought we were just school mates or something but then I found out from him that we were classmates. Wtf. My memory super fail sia. I think Pisal or Rachel may remember Ridwan.

Anyway, I met up with him and his friend downtown and we headed off for some drinks. Got me first taste of red wine and I couldn't stand the taste because I found it damn bitter. But I still sipped at it because his friend picked up the tab and even though I volunteered to pay my share, he wouldn't accept it. Such a nice guy.
Btw, he's malaysian too. Just like me.

Hung out and chit chatted with them till pretty late and we all had to take cab home. They told me that I would be taking the same cab with them because they were sending me back before heading to their own place, which I thought was super nice of them because while I stayed in yishun, their place was at aljunied.
Which is nowhere near yishun at all.

So touched la!

Haha but Ridwan friend so poor thing cause he got work the next day but despite that still accompany and talk with us till so late. So sweet.

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When I reach back I had this headache because of the alcohol but only managed to lay down for like a lame 3 hours before getting up to prepare to go out with the gals.

We were all late though. Wtf. Nobody managed to reach orchard at the arranged time we were suppose to meet. Lol.

Fel reach first. I arrived next.

While waiting for Siyu, we took afew pictures because it's been awhile since we last met.

When she came, the lot of us walked around town awhile before heading over to tcc to slack and grouse over life's suckiness. We were all having our own share of problems and it was pretty emo.

This is supposingly a emo shot of Fel but she is counting money. Wtf. I suck at taking candid shots. -_-

There is also a emo shot of Siyu but I think she will kill me if I post candid shots of her.

Last few pictures we took before we all had to leave. Haha, Fel's wearing her brand new hairband which I helped put on for her.

Stand alone picture of her that I took, in which Siyu and I thought she sorta looked like Alice in wonderland.

Only photo that missy took with us but I cut myself out because I looked so fugly in this shot.

Finally! After a long two weeks...

I have finish setting up this blog!!! Woohoo!

Actually feel relieved of some sorts because it was so hard... Yes, for me it was difficult because I suck when it comes to doing html and stuff.

But lucky for me, Pea helped me lots. You won't believe the amount of days she spent on my blog. If not for her, I think I wouldn't even have thought of moving to blogspot.

But most of the main important stuff is done. At last. I haven't finish bringing over all my previous posts but it'll slowly be done eventually.

Kinda have alot to blog about too so not blogging for two weeks was harsh. Anyway I can blabber about anything I want to now and thats really great. =]

I'm pretty happy with how everything for this blog turned out and I love the banner tons. And the sidebar too because everything there was written by me. I took the longest time thinking what to say and put... but its so cool that Bianbian can now have her very own profile too! =D

Do feel free to give comments or suggestions about anything like the layout or banner... anything at all! I dunno whether people from blogspot are active in that way like vox but I guess I'll just have to see how things goes. Haha I do have vox to sorta fall back on but then I will miss being able to customise stuff.

Well, that's all for now. =]

It's this kind of parents that causes dysfunctional kids

Amazing how my cat knows when I'm upset and can even do her best to comfort me whereas my sucky family don't do a shit. Not only is life the pits. They are the pits too.

The last round when my family upsetted me and hence the previous depressing post, I was sleeping cause that's much better than staying awake and feeling more depress, Bianbian actually came up to my bed and did her kneading thing on me. I forgot whether she was kneading my head pillow or my stomach. Anyway she rarely ever does that. It was only because I was so upset that day.

Just to wake up to see her happily kneading away and purring too. Lol. Can't help but smile at that. And I really do feel that each time she kneads, it is as if she is trying to tell me to feel better.

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I'm starting to really hate family outings. Today sucked so badly too because it seems to be too hard for my family to keep their foul mouth to themselves and not spoil my mood for once. It's like we can never even have a pleasant outing because they can't keep their big mouth shut. Hey I may sprout vulgarities that are obviously foul, but it takes much more 'talent' to be able to say things without any vulgarities yet sound so much more foul.

Funny how when I was young, mother was always saying this phrase, ' If you have nothing good to say, then don't say. ' Yah, people are always forever telling you stuff they themselves don't practise. Dunno why this is the case.

Must tell myself to avoid eating with them as much as possible. Never fail to spoil my appetite with their foul remarks about everything including me. I dunno why I eat food also must come and make me until so unhappy.

Eh, father? Do you feel happy after you open your stupid mouth and make your sarcastic comments mah? Do you feel even more happier when you are still making your foul remarks when I am trying my best to still continue eating and keeping my food down? Is that what you want? To make your own daughter so unhappy that you have officially ruin her appetite and her mood for the whole day??? Well, congrats. You never fail to achieve that.

Most of the times I really wish I could just yell at him and say ' Would it fucking kill you to keep your mouth shut and let me eat in peace for once!!! ' I guess that's too much to ask for.

Funny how he is so eager to please everybody except his own family. Own family never mind la can treat like shit ah. Make mother give him lots of money to gamble shares never mind la. Money drop from the sky mah. Huh money to gamble his shares more important than money wasted on food I didn't finish cause I got small appetite. Ask me to order kid's meal if possible.

Well, I'm fucking sorry if I wasted your precious money on a stupid bowl of noodles I couldn't finish, when you could have used that money to go and 'invest' in your fucking shares again k!!! I will try to never eat food when you are around and da pao my food home so I don't waste your fucking money and eat everything up can???

Life is the pits

Sometimes I wish I could just give up. But life still goes on. Even when you are at the pits, it still goes on.
I told Pea what I would give to be able to start all over again. I said I would even give my soul. It doesn't have to be at the beginning. It just has to be before all the abuse started.
Then maybe I would have had a normal life. Instead of only wishing for a normal one.
I know that when you fall down... you are suppose to pick yourself up.
But maybe when you've fallen too many times... you don't want to get up anymore.

At moments like these, I feel very tired of life.. of everything.. when all the nightmarish times of being abuse comes back.
I keep wonder how unfair it is that the victims suffer so much but the abusers live their life carefreely.

The only thing that keeps me hanging on...

is this face.

Even if everyone left me. She'll be right be my side.

When I look at her and she looks back at me and makes her squirrel sounds, it is the only thing that comforts me.